Thursday, September 29, 2005

I'm Never Napping Again

I accidentally...well, ok I'll be honest, I intentionally took a very long nap today at 2, about 5 hours long to be precise. It's now almost 4 in the morning and I can't get to sleep. Why can't I just be tired...it's not fair. There goes whatever was left of my sleep schedule. Damn it. On the brigh side I now have the cloth maps to all the Ultima games I've played: Ultima 7 The Black Gate, Ultima 7 part 2 The Serpent Isle, Ultima 9 Ascension, and Ultima Online (I choose to ignore Ultima 8). The crown jewel is of course my cloth map for Serpent Isle, or as I like to call it, the best game ever made to which I am indebted with my very being.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

This Season's Hottest Item

It's late, but I need to write this before the bitterness fades from my mind like an emotion that begs to die while I force feed it atropine. I'm driving home from Mike's house after his generous and delicious dinner of Penne all'Arrabbiata; note to Mike: delicious, and thank you. Well, actually I was driving home from my parents where I stopped to get sunblock since I'm scheduled to work outdoors all day tomorrow at the book festival and it will be sunny; note to Sun: fuck you. I answer my buzzing cell phone to hear my roommate tell me that we need a plunger, and that there's a problem involving water stuck in a toilet. I tell him that I'll be happy to stop by a drug store and get a plunger, and thus begins our adventure.

I first stop by a Longs Drugs on 5 Points shopping center. They're remodeling, shit is everywhere, but I spend about 15 minutes trying to find a plunger before I ask for help. Their response: "Sorry, we're out of plungers. In fact we just sold the last one about 20 minutes ago." A strange coincidence. I drive to the second Longs Drugs, this one much cleaner and without the threat of stray nails from a gun. Clean it may have been, but plunger-full it was not. I ask; they respond, without a moment's pause mind you, the knowledge no doubt secure from having been asked about plungers at least 50 times that evening, "sorry, we're out of plungers." Strange coincidence becomes ironic fate. I make my last stop at Ralphs and ask as I'm walking in if they carry plungers; response: "Plungers? Ouch. Well, if we have them in stock they'll be on isle 3." I couldn't even contain myself at that point, laughing all the way to isle 3 over the tragedy foreshadowed by the response I was given. I won't say whether or not Ralphs had the plunger, but I will give a hint: tomorrow I go to Home Depot.

So as it stands the toilet is off limits until further notice. Personally...I just don't understand. This is a plunger. It's not Tickle Me Elmo, it's not the Ark of the covenant, It's a hollow hemisphere of cheap rubber attached to a fucking stick. The whole drive around town was made all the more surreal as various parts of the landscape seemed strangely odd and dreamlike, and it probably didn't help that I was listening to The Crow on my @Home @Sunrise album. Driving around town after midnight, searching for a plunger, listening to funky chillout music and calling up long term memory of dreams from yester-decade. Yeah. No more chocolate after 11 for me.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

This utensil is endorsed by Donatello, Leonardo and Michelangelo, but not Raphael. He's rude (but cool).


Every decade or so, society leaps forward in technological advancement setting a standard for all ideas to follow. I claim that the fusion of a small pizza cutter and a fork is one such leap. One day we'll look back and wonder how those barbarians of yester-decade could be satisfied with cutting their pizza with the side of their fork. I won't even comment on the animals who still eat pizza with their hands. Next I predict spoons with built in potato mashers, and possibly (possibly) chopsticks with tranquilizer-loaded sharpened edges.

The Boys of Summer...

...are hot. Well, they're also gone, as my close personal friend and confidant Don Henley once said. Tomorrow is the last day of summer, and currently 3 months ago I'm being laughed at by myself who is saying "ha, sucks to be you, I've got 3 months of summer." Time becomes very non-linear when you get home after midnight from work, and I'm sure Don Henley would agree with me. My goal this summer could have been a responsible one, such as...I dunno, do research, get an internship, etc, but as things went I ended up just playing video games, all the while justifying it on the grounds that I never have time to play during the school year. I shall recap:

Half Life (shut up, I know it's old)
Half Life 2
World of Warcraft
- Turned Level 40 (my goal for the summer)
Myst: Uru
Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Meteos

Not bad...I guess. I never did get around to replaying Shadows of Amn and Deus Ex. I can live with that. This school year will be the first in my new place downtown, complete with a long ass drive from Castillo to Los Carneros each day for class. I can live with that too. It helps that I'm only 2 blocks from the beach, The Brew House, and the local gay bar.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Rock on, Sister

Last night I went to Wildcat Lounge with my friend's Marcos and Christian. Sunday nights is the gay night there, and it's usually pretty fun, and this particular Sunday, the number of lesbians pretty much matched the number of gay guys. My whole thing is, I'm used to all of the queer parties in IV and on campus at UCSB where there are hardly ever any lesbians, just guys, and usually a bunch of straight girls (oft-referred to as "hags"or "fruit flies"). It usually bugged me because, for one, it sucked for my lesbian friends to be surrounded by nothing but a bunch of gay guys, and second, it just bugs me in general when things are unbalanced ;)

So we're dancing surrounded by lesbians and I was just so jazzed by the whole setting that I shouted (over the music) to my friend, "holy crap check out all the lesbians, this rocks!"

My friend quickly pointed out to me that I may have offended someone and that they could easily kick my ass. After thinking for a second I realized he probably meant that I could have been mistaken for some straight guy oogling at "teh hot lezbianz," in which case, I probably would have deserved a good beating. Regardless, either no one heard me or no one was offended, so all is well.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Letter to the Governator

California Assembly Bill 849 has made history as the first gay marriage bill ever to be passed by a legislature. AB 849 would amend the description of marriage from "man and woman" to "two persons," and thus allowing same sex marriages the same state recognition as heterosexual marriages and all that comes with it. So, a very historic step and all, but Governor Schwarzenegger has vowed to veto the bill with his reasoning being that he does not wish to counter the will of the people. The will of the people he is referring to would be the passing of Prop. 22 back in 2000 by two-thirds majority.

My friend sent me a blog post that responds pretty well to that reasoning. I myself wrote a letter to the Governator. Sent along with the letter is an autograph Mr. Schwarzenegger made out to me some time ago when I was a kid. I thought it would make a pretty nice type of protest. I have no delusions of changing anyone's mind; as I've been joking with my friends, I'm sure that the intern who reads it will be just tickled pink. Nonetheless, I just felt it was something I needed to do. Anyway, here is the letter in all of its glory (or lack thereof?):

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger,

Enclosed is an autograph you made out to me some time ago during the release of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. As an overweight child, I looked up to you as a role model and was greatly inspired by your involvement in children’s fitness programs. I’ve long since lost the weight and have, to this day, adopted a concern for physical wellbeing that I try to share with others. This past special gubernatorial election I voted for you because I remembered that you cared about children enough to inspire me to better myself, and to me this was a reason to see you as a leader.

I am also a homosexual. As I write this letter, Assembly Bill 849 has made history and is on its way to your desk for your approval or veto, and you have vowed to veto it. That I am a homosexual should not make any difference in how much credence you give this letter, hopefully that will be earned from what I have to say and not by what I am or what I stand to gain; everyone should care about equality whether or not it directly affects them. You yourself have stated that you believe in equality on the matter of same-sex unions, yet today you choose not to stand behind it in your actions. In the past you stood for something that you knew to be unpopular: the physical health of our youth, a crisis that falls to this day upon apathetic ears. Granted, the issue of children’s’ fitness is not the same thing as the issue of gay marriage; children’s fitness does not offend the personal morals of some people as gay marriage does. Still, whether you face apathy as you did in the past or moral opposition as you face today, you have a decision between doing what I believe you know to be right or settling for what is popular with the majority. In the past you stood for what was right, why can you not do that today?

You have stated your reasons being that you do not wish to go against the will of the people, as it was the people who voted by almost two-thirds majority to pass prop. 22. I understand how difficult a decision it is that you have and I understand the importance of acknowledging the will of the people. However I also think it is important to, as the saying goes, protect the minority from the tyranny of the majority. Allowing state recognition of same sex marriage has no impact on the lives or freedoms of those who oppose the idea, and I believe this to be an inescapable fact. Rather, it is the pursuit of happiness of same-sex couples that is restricted by the will of the majority. Many in this majority will not be content with the freedom we should all have to follow our own moral paths, but instead will only be content having forced their own path upon others. I believe that the will of the majority in this case is unjust, and thus I believe that our system intends for you to protect the minority from this injustice, going against what is popular and doing what is right.

I so very sincerely hope that you change your mind and help mark another place in history where we, again, make a stride in tolerance and equality. Until then I can no longer support you, and I can not keep this sentiment of best wishes from a man whom I can no longer look up to. Please do the right thing.

Sincerely,
Christopher


And the autograph:

Monday, September 05, 2005

The End of a Borders Dynasty ("Bornasty")

I say farewell to my awesome co-workers from Borders store 406 in Goleta "The Good Land" California. Eddie, Stacy, "Hot" Paul, Anna, and last but not least, Cecily, who may not have been around for long but damn it she makes good Irish coffees. I could always count on Eddie to have the biggest most shit-eating dumb-ass amazing wonderfully grin on his face no matter what was happening at work. Stacy, my beloved fiance, dear to my heart, I'll never forget our night at the Blue Agave. Paul, AKA, "Hot" Paul, AKA "The Gehrke," you command the English language with an iron fist and use the word "Indeed" with a sense of ownership not seen since the invention of house mortgages. Anna, banana, queen of bling, keeper of the sacred gossip, you shall be missed. Cecily, hoping I spelled your name right, you delightfully Irish girl, I have one thing to say: supahfood!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

My new digs


I figured that I've gotten all the boxes out and nearly all the posters I want up...up, I can post pictures of my new room! Boo ya, is, I think, the phrase used nowadays. Please take note of my collection of Ultima cloth maps (I heart Britannia). I'm missing my Serpent Isle map, but that should change soon (I heart Serpent Isle most). Also take note of the penny arcade poster signed by nearly everyone in the comic :-D

Yeah, I know it's nothing too special. It works for me. As long as I've got my internet connection and a proper speaker placement, I'm good. And that clock on the wall? It's a Harvey Birdman clock. Oh yeah. Chicks dig it. Now I just need to find something the guys dig :-(