Thursday, February 23, 2006

Replacement Car #2

The Back Story. Essentially, my car broke down, and I borrowed my brother's Toyota Forerunner, which, by the way, got me a speeding ticket on the first day of driving it because I wasn't quite used to the difference in acceleration between it and my focus. Last night I'm pulling out of the gas station and this horrific shrieking metal sound comes from the engine and the air starts to smell of burned rubber. Great. I pull over quickly in the In and Out parking lot and call my brother for help. He arrives in my Dad's Aircraft Carrier on Wheels that I've decided to simply call "the biggest fucking truck I've ever seen," or what is officially called the Dodge Ram Mega Cab. Turns out Trevor's Forerunner blew a timing belt or something, so we ditched it there at In and Out and I got to borrow the Lincoln Towne Car, but only until Friday, when apparently it has to do some sort of task in LA.

I half seriously asked if I could use the new truck, you know, one of those things where you could play it off as a joke but only if they say no? Anyway, my Dad's response was that I "wouldn't know what to do with that much truck." My response, being the good little smart ass liberal son that I am, was that the only people who know what to do with "that much truck" are people who've kidded themselves in to thinking that they need "that much truck" to begin with. I think I also snuck in a small penis compensation joke in there, just for good measure.


Blogger Zeroes said...

I think you should steal my mom's landship and take it on a drug-fueled rampage across the continental United States and parts of French-Canada.

Bring a botox-barbie along with you while you're at it, peroxide blondes good for scoring free beer.

1:20 PM  

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