Thursday, July 13, 2006

I Believe You'll Find It Next To The Cooking Section

A woman came in to borders and asked for the "section on how to cure homosexuality." Yes, a whole section. Now before I could tell her that our ex-gay section had been changed in to the travel section, I was sort of busy standing with my jaw agape next to my coworker Caitlin, jaw also agape. I was thinking of about a hundred different funny things to say in response, but Caitlin beat me to it with a very simple "uh....the....Christian section?"

I don't think that was quite the answer she wanted, in fact I think she wanted to hear something like "right this way ma'am," and then leading her in to a special alcove where she could find such sub categories as "Violent Methods," "Methods Involving Electrodes," "Beating Over Head With Bible," and face-out books on special with titles like "8 Minutes to Craving Pussy!", "He's Just Not That In To You (Because He's Straight Now, You Fag!)," and maybe "The Devil Wears Prada And We're Here To Exorcise The Demons, Homo!"


Blogger Zeroes said...

Wait, seriously?

God I can't wait until I'm Dictator Elect.

1:25 AM  
Blogger Drew said...


not related to the above post, but how did you get the little image to show up in the footer of every post?

also, let's hang out.

7:47 PM  

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